I can't shake this newfound mindset where I'm constantly craving normality and home. It's like stuff will come to my attention and go one of two ways- home and normal or not peaceful at all. I'm wondering why on earth this is such a distinct thing in my mind right now? I never thought that so much stuff could weird me out. Maybe things are changing? No, I don't think that's it, and if so, that would be a gradual change. Maybe I'm starting to think too much again? That one seems more likely. Unfamiliarity is just really bothering me lately. 

It seems like what I'm searching for are things that make me feel "at home." At MY home. I want it so bad. But, really, what am I wanting so bad? Am I missing being younger? Before I magically grew up and reached a point that I could never have those kinds of memories again? Was it a gradual decaying process that I was too blind to see and now I'm too far gone? Do I even want it that bad that I would give up my new things for it? These questions tug on me sometimes, and right alongside them stand their unspoken answers that I'm unwilling to admit.

Do I need to accept and live in my happy medium like normal, or is this a hint toward some kind of change? I need to clear things up a bit and find out what I need to invest my time in. And that time will be invested in things that bring life.