As humans, we give out our advice and build others up, which is obviously a good thing. I just want to know why... when the going gets rough and someone is actually in an emotional ditch and hurting, why do we give a courtesy sentence and then get out of sight ASAP? It's like... "Here... I'll touch your arm a little and ask if it's okay, but just don't tell me that it really isn't okay, because then I won't know what to do anymore." or "I'll text you to ask how it's going, but just make sure you don't let me know how it's actually going, or call me crying, because I don't know how to handle it right and the timing is awkward anyways." Granted, I suppose it could be "awkward" or hard to deal with because we're not all counselors. But why are we like that to each other, and especially to those we say we "love" ?
Is it that hard to be an ear to hear? A real friend that sticks around when it's really not all happy and pretty and fine.. And is it that hard to supply a great big, five minute bear hug to the one you "love" that's hurting ? Just to let someone know they're safe and loved. Sometimes that's all someone wants or needs. No fixing the unfixable, just a touch in a way thats not awkward, but genuinely loving. To be held and completely taken in just as you are. Even a complete stranger could supply that to someone in need.
In a book called Angry Conversations With God, Susan E. Isaacs gives a dead on description that I think bothers the majority of us whether we vocalize it or not.
"Be careful to whom you bear your grief, especially if it's someone churchy, like Martha. Because the Martha's of the world can't leave a question unanswered, a problem unsolved, or a sorrow unhealed; they have to fix it. And no matter how long you've been a Christian, Martha will know a Bible verse you haven't heard(or haven't heard the right way), or she'll have a book or a sermon tape or a worship CD designed to answer your questions, silence your doubts, muzzle your grief, and make Martha feel better.
......... when you realize that God Himself has orchestrated your collapse- then Martha will wish she hadn't come to be Jesus to you, because now she's stuck in some crappy midtown cafe listening to your horrifying thoughts about God- the kind of thoughts she successfully dodges in the midst of her everyday life. But you're not in everyday life. You're in hell."
To clarify, I'm not relating directly to those last few sentences right now, and I know that sometimes the nice word or Bible verse moves mountains. But I have, indeed, related directly to that, and I know that others are there right now. I know I've been on both sides of what I'm currently writing about, too. I have been the awkward friend that didn't have time or didn't know what to say, and I have been the one in dier need of someone to hold me and just let me cry and not being able to understand why someone won't come to help. Why do we do that? People around us are silently crying out; they just need love.
Since when did straight up love become so awkward?
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