to Who made me, and with all of this madness intact:

So I'm having an anxiety issue.

It's too bad that in the process of a genuine attempt to have a quiet heart and mind, things tend to get so much louder. In my valiant efforts to quiet my soul, the volume of my [however useless] noise raises considerably..

I wish it could be as easily done as it is said.

I mean, sometimes I guess it is..

Maybe I just have too big of a heart. Yeah, that's it!

But, no... how rude of me to say such a thing. If I was made to have this heart, please, I beg of You, let me spread it around nice and evenly so that it won't come back to fall at my feet. Please let my inner peace and discretion and stability reign instead of this jerk perturbation that is choking my senses.

There must be some sort of compromise for such a blessing, right?

I just want to be quiet.

Could I be more oblivious...? When I ask, I always end up quiet and still- no matter how loud I get before the calm overtakes me. But that's just the thing- I end up there. I hate the road leading. I'd give anything for a new route!

I just don't know. And the truth is that I won't until the time comes.

How typical, right?

I need to start taking, and correctly swallowing, my daily doses of contentment again.