half of my heart takes time
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that I can't keep loving you
half of my heart's got you
half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you
that half of my heart won't do
half of my heart is a shot gun wedding to a bride with a paper ring
and half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything
Maybe it's just not my year. I've noticed that sometimes I spend my days gearing up for war against any possible negative emotion that would even dare arise. Read, roll the windows down, sing along to that "Skinny Dippin'" song. Only some days. Some days are easier than others, yet there are some that I feel take incredible amounts work.
This morning I had plans to give up for a day. I didn't wanna try so hard. I didn't feel like working so strenuously for some peace that may come and then surely evaporate. No effort. We can actually form all those "didn'ts" into "don'ts" and it would still fit. Somewhat.
This is so cynical, but I mean... it's where I am. I'm being honest. Transparent, if you will. Which I think counts for more than masking it all over. This is what's happening. Reality.
Rarely- in fact this is only the second time so far- do I want to not give any effort to make it a good one. This morning I just didn't care that I was 'fainting in the day of adversity.' Didn't mind being "weak." And yet at the same time, I'm not condemned because I feel that, Ya know... I'm being honest with God, okay. And He'll work with that. Which He does, so clearly. I'll get up, but sometimes I'd just like to lie down. Rest up a little.
I woke up and declared exhaustion.
Soon it will pass.
In the meantime, I will continue to answer that common question with an "Okay." and a smile.
Good things are heading my way... I'm just.. so tired.
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