The soundtrack was an eclectic mix that lasted all of 25 minutes.

'Gravity' started the roller-coaster with a sense of complete contentment, then, like I had no control over myself, my fingers shifted to the QWERTY keyboard. Again, I restarted the song.. and quickly decided the sent message was the worst idea I'd had. I would lie in my reply, that is, if I got the chance to do so. I said this out loud with a smile and a sense of superiority over my heart. The mix switched to 'If I fail' by Cartel, which I can now analyze as the big, adrenaline filled drop.

I broke my own promise to myself... I didn't lie.. but I also didn't use any puctuation in the simple sentence.. As though to somehow avoid emphasis or keep my heart semi- to myself for once, and I screamed as I pressed the send button. Then came a reply... Which is the obvious reasoning behind the drop and swift, jerky turns.

The sense of not knowing what I did, how to take that answer, the answer that I wanted, and complete and utter regret led to a burst in tears. A kind of tears that I'd never cried before, and didn't understand why they were even there... So I just decided to laugh at myself and shake the steering wheel and yell as though I really was on some freak, thrill ride.

Being close to home, I chose to turn right instead of keep straight. 'Timber wolves at New Jersey' was playing just loud enough so I could let it take control of my fore thoughts. Driving down some frozen, snowy straightaway in a plastic Kia.. I just needed to calm down a little bit.

"What the heck?" I made a U turn, and Corinne Bailey Rae started telling me to put my records on and let down my hair. "Corinne, my hair is down, and it looks like crap today. But thanks for caring enough to want to hear my favorite songs. That's sweet of you."

Like fate had been shuffling my iPod herself, 'Passenger Seat' switched on just in time to perfectly match the snowy pines surrounding my car. "This would," I say under my breath.

I am now composed. Well, composed enough.

I take the right and head home. All the while wondering what in the heck is up with being 17.