Merry Christmas

I decided I would write this when I caught myself standing alone in front of the microwave. The kitchen hardly lit and me standing there in my skivvies, wrapped up in a warm fleece... It's officially Christmas. So official that the current time is 12:07 am and I've already received 3 mass texts. Gotta love 'em.

Anyways. Here I am, midnight, Christmas, making myself some tea because I don't quite have a ritual to adhere to at the moment.

I swear, I have been breaking my back to get that Holiday cheer. I don't know why, but this year it just..... wasn't there. December really, really snuck up on me. In the unpleasant kind of way.... Well, more of a disappointment. I recall waking up to that 12/01 on the clock and growling, "what..?" ....I guess that's not too unnatural for me, though. Lately all these days run into each other and I haven't paid any attention to time unless I'm obligated to. So it's easy to say there's not much "definition" of my 24 hour periods. Which would obviously lead to such rude awakenings.

Since that morning I've been doing all I can to rob holiday spirit as though it's Wi-Fi. I guess I was successful. Just, such an odd year, ya know... I've tried, but nothing exactly has seemed to stick.

Though, today(yesterday) I genuinely got excited . I still kinda feel that glimmer.. I mean, I have three Christmases to attend.. something is bound to surprise me. So, yeah. I'm excited.

I need a surprise. Any kind of surprise. One deeper than material.

This tea is gross... and I should really be trying to force myself to sleep. Santa has aleady made his stop here and Christmas morning can't come soon enough for the eleven year old on the other side of the wall..

So, here it is. Merry. Christmas. :)