Sunday, March 14, 2010

my my my, my my my, my, my

On occasion I'll take the wrong turn.. sometimes you just need the long way home. I've been known to get a mean caffeine headache. I can sit still; I can be too much. I'm fidgety. I've tiptoed near the line, stood clear of the line, sprinted over the line without looking back. Yet I always crawl back to the side which I belong. Sometimes I don't feel like replying to texts, so I won't. But only sometimes. I've got a few hearts in the palm of my hand, though I would never think twice about messing with them. I hold them, sympathize over them, wonder about them. I hate checking my voicemail- It's too time consuming, text me. I should consider drinking more water, eating less McDonald's, less sweets, maybe sleep more- But hey, I'm young. I can handle it for a little while longer. Of course I miss you; of course you miss me. Not sure why we make this so difficult. I'm solitary, but I'm even more social. I do my best crying, praying, purging on the floors of bathrooms and tubs. I bite my nails. & I hate that I bite my nails. I've been on hundreds of planes, involved in a few fender benders, and one time I rode on a train to Chicago. I'd love to ride on a train again. I like a strong cuss word in calm songs. I'm petrified by spiders and gravely disturbed by vomit. I'm a sucker for lovestories and their soundtracks. I have friends that are family. Families that have seamlessly accepted me as one of their own. I procrastinate. Making plans stresses me out. I don't like the beach.. There are some songs I can't listen to. Some movies I can't watch. I'm sure I'll get over it one day. I find the most beauty, strength, character in flaws and disfunction. I have freckles during summer and no trace of a tan line during winter. My hair tangles too easily and doesn't grow quickly enough. I'm discontent, eager, nervous, at peace. Things fall apart- it's the simple stuff that makes my heart, even my eyes, fill to the brim with thanks.

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